Miles from Fenway: January 2005

God how I don't want this to bother me, and yet it is. Here it goes ...

A year and a half ago I was living on Long Island with my boyfriend at the time. He and I had been together for nearly 4 years, had had a wonderful relationship, hell, I had moved to NYC to be with him after college.

The only times the he and I had gone through problems was right before I moved here. He had been thinking of joining the marines, and I had gotten upset. It's not that I oppose military service, what I had a problem with was the man I was in love with going off to get shot at. Right when we were about to move in together. I told him that I would support the decision, of course, but I'd be very worried/scared/sad. He decided not to.

So that was in June of 2002. In May of 2003 he sat me down one weekend and said he was thinking about the service again. My immediate reaction was to cry. I loved this man with everything I had in me, and the thought of something terrible happening to him just devestated me. We talked about it all weekend. Eventually his decision had been "I'm not going to enlist because I couldn't bare the thought of leaving you". I was still troubled by it, and had begged him that if he really wanted to do it he should because I didn't want to be the reason he regreted the decision later on, but he stayed firm. He couldn't leave me like that.

How ironic.

The very next weekend, that Saturday, I got up, made breakfast, had, what I thought, was a normal morning. The ex declined breakfast and as I sat there eating while watching TV with him on the couch he said that he was thinking about it again. This time I was firm. Ok, I said, if this is something you're still thinking about, that it won't go away, it's obviously something you need to do. We'll make it through it, I can move in with my friends when you go off to boot camp. But you clearly have to do this.

And then my world came crashing down.

He turned to me, with tears in his eyes, and said that actually the reason he thought he'd been so confused lately was that he wasn't ready to settle down. He wasn't happy. I forget most of the conversation here, it gets fuzzy, but about 5 minutes after he started rambling I looked at him and said if I've ever needed a cigarette (I didn't smoke around him) I need one now, and i went across the street, in my PJs to 7-11. When I had left, he had been in his PJs. When I came back, he was dressed, at the door, with a bag in his hand.

He said he couldn't stay here. He gave me a hug. Said the rent was paid for this month, the security deposit would cover next month, and that he'd come and get his stuff later. The entire conversation lasted about 15 minutes. I was so shocked I didn't even cry until after he left.

It's been about a year and a half now since that happened. I've heard various things about him through mutual friends (we went to college together). Apparently he was telling everyone it was a mutual break up, blah blah blah. I hadn't let any of that shit bother me. It took me a long time to realize, but I finally got to the point where I was like, yes, I did love him, but why waste my heart on a man that didn't even have the courage to really talk to me about this? Who couldn't do more than just run away? I got over it.

But something I found out today got to me. He's a Marine. I just found out through our college alumni site. He enlisted. It bothers me to no end. It bothers me that I didn't talk to him before he left. It bothers me that he could get hurt. It bothers me that it bothers me.

And now it's all I can think about. What if something happens to him and I had never talked to him? Am I still in love with him? Hell no. Will I always care about him and his wellbeing in a peripheral way after spending so much of my life with him? No question.

But do I contact him? Do I send him a note of congratulations seeing as how I know how much this meant to him? And where do I send it?

It's just so weird. My life is so much better without him in it. I'm so much happier living in Brooklyn than I ever was on Long Island. I've explored the city more, I live with two wonderful women, I feel like I finally feel at home in NY and if he hadn't left me none of that would have been true. So why do I still feel so sad when I look back at this story. And why am I so concerned about him now?

Ok, it's time to stop rambling. KR, if for God knows what reason you ever found this blog, and figured out who I am, know that my thoughts are with you, that I'm very happy for you, and I hope you stay safe.

~FINY

Labels: dating

posted by FINY @ Tuesday, January 11, 2005 0 comments

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Absentee Landlord

My apartment currently has no heat. This happens from time to time, it's an old building, and things are bound to break down. What makes this the worst though, is that our landlord is what you would call an "absentee landlord". The man disapears to the Dominican Republic every winter, doesn't tell us how to get in touch with him, and never lets us know when he's going to get back.

Also, in order to get down to the basement, where our water heater is, you have to go through the office that is downstairs. So we clearly can't do anything about it during the weekends. So basically for the last three days we've been freezing our asses off and there's not a damn thing we can do except wear two pairs of sweats, multiple sweatshirts, mittens, and slippers. Sexy, I know.

So what do I go and do? I plan a weekend getaway in two weeks to go to the Dominican Republic with three of my friends from Rhode Island. Can I afford it you ask? No way in hell. Call it cold induced insanity. I call it just good sense.

posted by FINY @ Sunday, January 09, 2005 1 comments

Hangovers, and Carlos Beltran

Last night I went out with a few friends to see one of their ex-boyfriend's play a solo gig at the Sidewalk Cafe in the East Village. I was expecting a very laid back night. Well, during the show (this guy was really great by the way - wrote all his own songs and his voice sounded surprisingly like Ryan Adams but less cheesy) the guy starts singing happy birthday to his girlfriend, who in her drunken stuppor stands up, hands flailing over her head and screams "It's my birthday". She couldn't have been more than 22, she was a stick, and I only saw her for ten seconds and I thought she was annoying. Perhaps this is friend loyalty talking but the girl looked like your typical trophy girlfriend. So my friend turns to us and says, "Well, that's it, I need to go get drunk and make out with a stranger".

Now normally I am all about bar hopping and drunken debauchery, but last night I couldn't really get into it. We went to like three different bars and yeah I got pretty drunk, I guess what I couldn't get into this time was the guy hunting. I don't want to do the stupid, one night hook-ups with guys that are never going to call. And let's be honest, at the bars around here that's basically all you're going to meet.

Gotta figure out what to do about that ...

One the way HOME from the bars last night, the cabbie had the FAN on the radio and the headlines announced that Carlos Beltran had missed the signing deadline with the Houston Astros. I was so shocked I actually scared the cabbie (maybe that's because I had been semicatatonic moments before?). I was sure he was going to resign there. Despite all the Mets rumors, and Boras talking about 4 - 5 teams being interested in him, I really did think it was all just a ploy to drive up the Astros offer. I now fully expect Beltran to go to the Mets. There are some people over at RSN.net were tossing around the idea of the Sox being interested, but I don't put a lot behind that. That would mean moving Manny, and while Theo has clearly been trying to unload him for a while, if they're looking for payroll flexibility Beltran's mamoth contract isn't really going to do that. So we'll see I guess. If the Mets get him OM really is serious about turning this team into a contender. Because with the addition of Perdro they really upgraded their rotation, and if they add Beltran they really could give the NL East an injection of some actual excitement. Then again, Bobby Cox still always seems to find away to pull the division title out of his ass regardless of who's on his team :).

How long until pitchers and catchers again?

posted by FINY @ Sunday, January 09, 2005 1 comments

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

On Engagements and Getting Older

Over the holidays one of my friends from highschool got engaged to his longtime girlfriend. Last night a group of us got together at their place, made fondu and drank a lot of wine.

I wonder when it was that we all grew up. I was looking around the room last night, all of us still dressed for work, eating fondu, drinking out of some really nice wine glasses, two sets of us engaged, two in long term relationships, sitting in a nice Upper East Side apartment. What happened to the days of Natty Light in red cups? To the random hook ups? To the terrible dorm rooms and bad apartments? Or better yet to the days when we were still living at home and needed to hide the beer and cigarettes?

It was an odd feeling last night. On the one hand, it was wonderful. It felt great to be in this place in our lives and still be such a tight knit group. On the other hand, it felt a little scary. Like, oh shit, we're supposed to be grown ups now. When the hell did that happen?

Labels: friends

posted by FINY @ Tuesday, January 04, 2005 0 comments

Monday, January 03, 2005

Back at Work

I've decided to forgo the traditional introduction post. I'm terrible at the contrived, hi-my-name-is style of writing. So I am just going to jump right into it.

Came back into the office today after a 4 day weekend. Luckily this is a quiet week for us, our national sales meeting is taking place so all of our editors are out in San Diego as is our entire sales force which gives me an opportunity to do a little cube cleaning. I save WAY too much and have manuscripts piled everywhere even though many of them have already been published and are no longer necessary.

New Years was fantastic. My roommates and I had decided not to fork over the $100 cover charge to get into most any bar in Manhattan and instead invited a few people over to our place. What was intended to be a low-key event turned into an all night booze-fest which ended with me breaking one of my New Years Resolutions just 3 hours into the new year (the resolution being to not make stupid decisions when it came to men while drunk). We did however, get to climb onto our roof (probably not the best idea while intoxicated but whatever) and watch the fireworks. They literally surrounded us as to our west we could see the Statue of Liberty fireworks, to the east we had the Prospect Park show, and there were also fireworks to our north and south though we couldn't pinpoint where they were being shot off from.

New Years day I went up to Boston. Just a quick trip to see my best friend Adam and my college roommate Kat who recently got engaged (that's right, I introduced them ... now why can't I find MYSELF a date?). They live in LA so I don't get to see them often. It was wonderful just to spend the day with them and wander around the city I love so much. It's funny, I am so conditioned here in NY to spot the Sox hats and therefore find the fellow RSNers, that when I go to Boston it's like Red Sox overload. I LOVE IT!

But I really do miss that city. It's impossible to compare Boston and New York, they're like apples and oranges, there's just something about Boston that will always feel like home to me. But then again I know if I ever leave New York I'll miss it too. Grass is always greener I guess.

Labels: blogging, dating, drinking, work

posted by FINY @ Monday, January 03, 2005 3 comments

Sunday, January 02, 2005

100 Things

THIS POST ACTUALLY WRITTEN ON 6/14. I just didn’t want it to take up my entire front page and I know too little about HTML to be able to code it so that it opened up in it’s own window.

This Post updated on 1/5/06

Ok so it seems like a blog requirement to have one of these. So here it goes.

100 Things About Me

1. ~~I doubt I will be able to think of 100 things.~~ I’ve updated this list.
2. Originally, I hail from Rhode Island.
3. In my teens I was a Braves fan. Wait, let me explain! We didn’t have NESN, and since Ted Turner owned the Braves and TBS I could see them every day.
4. I had jaw surgery when I was seventeen, and was wired shut for six weeks. When I go to hell in my hand basket, I am pretty sure this is what is waiting for me for the rest of eternity.
5. My favorite physical feature about myself is my eyes.
6. It's also what I notice first about the opposite sex.
7. I was accepted to every undergrad program I applied to.
8. Then rejected from every grad school I tried to get into.
9. My favorite color is purple.
10. There is a lilac bush right outside my childhood home (which my family still lives in). Now every time I see or smell lilacs, I get homesick.
11. My mom is my best friend in the world.
12. ~~I am TERRIBLE at keeping in touch with people.~~ I am getting better at keeping in touch with people. But it was forced on me since Zoe moved to London!
13. I love the smell of fresh cut grass.
14. After growing up in RI I could never live in a landlocked state.
15. ~~I hate my thighs.~~ I've recently made peace with my thighs. Not because they look any different, but because they're a part of me, might as well get used to them.
16. ~~And my stomach.~~ You would figure that after the above admission I'd have changed my tune about my stomach. But really? Not so much. I still hate my stomach.
17. I miss playing ball.
18. In college I once got hit with a hard hit grounder that took a funny hop. On the chin. I walked around for weeks afterward looking like I had a goatee.
19. ~~I am terrible with money.~~ I am getting better managing my finances. This too was sort of forced on me, but it's progress none the less.
20. I overanalyze everything.
21. I have psoriasis.
22. Because of which I have never been able to get a piercing or a tattoo. (but I am deathly afraid of needles so I guess it all works out ok)
23. I wear contact as I have terrible eye sight.
24. I am obsessed with live music of any kind.
25. ~~I fall in love way too easily.~~ Turns out that's not exactly true. I USED to fall in love way too easily. Now it scares the hell out of me and I fight it even while fully realizing that there’s no way to do so.
26. I hate confrontation of any kind.
27. I miss school. I loved learning. I am a dork.
28. I want to own a bookstore someday.
29. Singing the National Anthem at Fenway Park is a dream I've had since I was little.
30. Senior year in high school my choir sang on the Lincoln Center Stage.
31. Tim Wakefield is my favorite Sox player of all time.
32. I was born with six fingers on my left hand.
33. I never wear shorts. All summer I live in capris and skirts.
34. I love to ski, but I suck. This does not stop me from hurtling myself down harder trails than I can manage. What can I say, I love the adrenaline Oh-My-God-I-Am-Going-To-Die rush it gives me.
35. I make an ass out of myself on a daily basis.
36. I want to get married at Colt State Park in Bristol, RI.
37. I never go to church.
38. ~~I make terrible dating decisions.~~ I've DEFINITELY made progres son this in the past year.
39. ~~I let how other people see me affect me too much.~~ In the past year I've worked on this a lot. There were certain people in my life that I really let effect my self-image. It took me WAY too long to realize that was the case, but I do now, and I consciously make an effort not to let that happen anymore.
40. I was painfully self-conscious in high school.
41. I was also miserable but who wasn't?
42. I have a scar on my elbow from falling on the playground in middle school (the playground being basically just a cement basketball court) because Ms. Hayes wouldn’t let me go to the burse.
43. When I had chicken pox in 5th grade they became infected and I almost had to be hospitalized.
44. I once slapped my mother. It's a good story. She doesn't think so.
45. ~~I have never had my own pet, save for the free fish I got at the fair that was only supposed to live for a few days and instead lasted a few YEARS.~~ I have the most adorable kitten ever. Her name is Tessie.
46. I wish I could speak a foreign language.
47. I do not have a passport.
48. I'd rather be cold than hot (though that changes per the season)
49. I don't know how to flirt.
50. I LOVE to cuddle.
51. I hate running but love running sneakers.
52. I suffer from panic attacks.
53. I am afraid of heights.
54. Some days I feel so old.
55. Others, so young.
56. ~~Sometimes I worry that the ex was my only chance to get married.~~ I haven't thought that in ages now.
57. And then I realize him leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me.
58. I would love to be a college professor.
59. I've never driven across the country but always wanted to.
60. I'm lucky that I still have three grandparents around.
61. And lucky too that I knew the other until I was 23.
62. I was a jerk to my little brother when I was a kid.
63. ~~I've been seriously slacking at work lately and now need to bust ass to catch up.~~ I'm in a great place at work right now. There were points in the year that I was overwhlemed, but luckily that's behind me now.
64. I make up stories in my head about the lives of the people sitting around me on the subway.
65. My biggest pet-peeve is people who make a lot of noise when they chew.
66. My life will not be complete unless I get my PhD
67. Nicholson Baker is one of my favorite authors.
68. I want to BE Sarah Vowell.
69. My handwriting still looks like it did when I was 13.
70. I take ridiculously long showers.
71. I am an absolute slob when it comes to my room.
72. I like to feel like I am needed.
73. If I hear a song once I will know all the words forever. My choir director loved me for this.
74. I have met Tom Glavine.
75. The first and only car I ever bought was a bright teal Kia Rio. I had to turn around and sell it to my little brother 9 months later when I left Long Island.
76. I go out too much.
77. And drink too often.
78. My favorite color pen is blue.
79. My dad used to call me "wood Baby" because I hated to be changed and went all stiff whenever anyone tried.
80. I attribute my love of books and words to my parents reading to me every night.
81. Instead of sneaking out of my bedroom late at night to watch TV when I was a kid, I would bring a flashlight to bed with me and read under the covers until my mom caught me.
82. The DMB song "Best of What’s Around" will always make me smile no matter how bad things are.
83. I cry at movies. And if I know the movie and know a sad part is coming up soon, I will start crying even before the scene starts.
84. I think any woman who claims she doesn’t masturbate is lying.
85. I secretly read chick lit.
86. I value my alone time.
87. I should probably be seeing a therapist.
88. In the three years that I have lived in NYC I have fallen asleep on the subway and ended up in the middle of nowhere Brooklyn only twice. Both times were alcohol induced. Both times resulted in my throwing up on the platform.
89. In losing my anonymity the other day I may have lost a roommate and a friend. There is a theory that has been floated to me that this was my subconscious way of confrontation, which may be true, but either way it sucks and was stupid. I did lose a roommate, but not a friend. We may be very different people now, and nowhere near as close, and we may annoy the freaking shit out of each other, but you can’t erase 20 years of history.
90. I have never been to the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, or any other number of NYC landmarks. This makes me feel like a bad New Yorker.
91. I would love to live by myself but I am too poor.
92. I LOVE Broadway musicals.
93. Many people are afraid of the street I live on.
94. I know nothing about art but still love art museums.
95. ~~Someday I want to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.~~ After walking the Manhattan Bridge during the transit strike I DEFINITELY no longer have this aspiration.
96. Hearing DMB break into "Linus and Lucy" at the Worcester Centrum in December of 1999 is still one of the greatest concert moments I've witnessed. Just hearing it now makes me want to jump up and break into the Linus Dance.
97. I've become way more hooked on this blogging world than I ever thought I would.
98. I have a Simba stuffed animal that has been with me through everything.
99. I love the way rain smells.
100. ~~I never thought I’d reach 100.~~ Well, this time around I clearly knew I was going to make it!

Labels: misc.

posted by FINY @ Sunday, January 02, 2005 13 comments

Saturday, January 01, 2005

NYC Response 1 - The Rower

From: The Rower
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 17, 2005 2:36 PM
Subject: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy
I'm responding to your ad on craigslist. I am 24 (5-11, 180 lbs),
just out of college, work in the accounting profession.

Have a very ripped body, was a varsity rower in college (UNC Chapel Hill).

I cook (and bake) and am very clean. I work weekdays and go to the gym either after or before work every day.

Picture is attached. Would love to hear from you.

"The Rower"

It should be noted here that he sent three pictures of himself. For a minute I got excited at how hot this guy was. Then I realized I was never going to meet him. Damn.

I replied to his email a few days later, explaining the experiment and asking if he would mind participating. I received this response:

From: "The Rower"
To: finy apartment
Date: Jun 22, 2005 10:07 AM
Subject: Re: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy

Finy:
What a great idea! Of course I'm not upset. I found a great 2-bedroom in Park Slope with a buddy of mine. We're moving there August 1.

However, here's the catch about me: I'm gay. So, my answers might not be useful in regards to being a man sexualized by women.

But whatever I can do to help your study, let me know. I think that the whole man to woman, woman to man sexualization boils down to submissive vs dominant. You can see it a lot in the gay community with "tops" and "bottoms" (sorry, do not know the clinical terms for these).

All the best,
"The Rower"

Damn! Now not only was I sad that I would never get to meet him, now I couldn't even FANTASIZE about him anymore! I emailed him back, telling him I would still love for him to participate. We talked a few times over email before I finally got my questions together, and it's possible I've made a new gay boyfriend out of the deal!

Finally I sent him my questions, and here are his responses:

From: "The Rower"
To: finy apartment
Date: Jun 24, 2005 10:09 AM
Subject: Re: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy

Finy:
Please see the answers below.
"The Rower"

On 6/23/05, finy apartment wrote:
> Name: "The Rower">
> Where do you currently live (neighborhood is fine): Harlem
> How old are you? 24
> What do you do for a living? Tax Accountant - International Executive Services
> Do you live with roommates, parents, or on your own? Alone
> What about this arrangement appealed to you? Cheap rent, desire for something unorthodox
> Can you actually cook and clean? Absolutely. My apartment is very clean, and I can make a mean Hollandaise
> Did you intentionally withhold the fact that you were gay? Absolutely
Would you have told your potential roommate before moving in? Not sure, most likely
> Did you make any assumptions about the poster's identity? No. I figured I'd meet the person if she was interested so there was no point to think about it. Although I did think that being gay might affect her desire to have me around. In which case I thought it might be worth concealing it since she didn't want to sleep with me anyhow.
> If you had moved into the apartment do you think you would have told
> your friends/family about the arrangement? Absolutely, both friends and family
> Any other comments?
>
> Ok, I think that's all for now. Congrats again on finding the new place! Thank you kindly.

I think it ads an interesting twist on the experiment that The Rower was gay. I've sent him a follow up asking if it had been a gay man posting the ad if it would have made a difference to him.

Labels: the experiment

posted by FINY @ Saturday, January 01, 2005 0 comments

NYC Response 2 - The Actor

From: "The Actor"
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 17, 2005 3:13 PM
Subject: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy

Hi,

I'm not twenty something, but I often go about 'chores' without a shirt. I'm a former actor/model, still in relatively good shape. I have a website so you can see for yourself.

I use to live on 35th between Park & Lexington, and like the Murray Hill area.

I've very handy, in all domestic things from cooking to cleaning.

However, I do smoke and that might be acceptable.

My website is *Note from Finy, I am deleting this just so he doesn't get a ton of emails or anything*. My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX

Thanks for considering me. It's a great ad. I'd very much like to meet you.

PS Sometimes older men know things young ones don't.

The PS is really what had me rolling in my cubicle. I went to his website and thought, this guy is EASILY 55, and actually, sort of looks like John Kerry! I was praying he would agree to answer my questions. After sending him the same explanatory email I sent The Rower, I received this response:

From: The Actor
To: finy apartment
Date: Jun 22, 2005 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy
Finy,

I thought it was too good to be true!
I'd love to have you ask me questions. I'm 61 and have a 25 year son at Harvard, and I raised him.
I have an affinity with the young and old, the beautiful and damned. I used to be an actor and I'm returning to Manhattan to pursue it. It's rare in people lives that they finally realize they can do what they want. So when I saw your ad, and having already lived in Murray Hill for 2 1/2 years back in the 70's (before you were born), I thought that if I just stayed a couple of months and got to know some people, preferably young, energetic and fun, then I could find a place of my own, and still remain friends.
By all means, pitch the idea to magazines. It's timely. I'd be more than glad to participate.
"The Actor" Tel XXX-XXX-XXXX
Look forward to meeting you someday.

Oh man, it just kept getting better and better. He has a son MY AGE. Can you imagine what his son would have felt like had his dad agreed to this? So along went the questions. Here's his response:

From: "The Actor"
To: finy apartment
Date: Jun 24, 2005 8:56 AM
Subject: Re: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy
Finy,

I hope you make this into a salable piece and have fun too. As I said, it's a very good idea.

Live: Saratoga Springs, NY. Just sold my house and moving to Manhattan . Lived there many years ago in the Murray Hill area.
Living: I've been a headhunter in the Banking Industry for the last 19 years.

Living arragements: I live alone. My son went off to college 7 years ago, and I've been alone since. He was the reason I left Manhattan 20 years ago. I got custody of him when he was 5, and is now in graduate school at Harvard.

Appeal: Since Manhattan has changed so much, I thought that if I had a share or sublet for a couple of months, it would be a very easy way to figure out where in the city I wanted to locate. And your ad was incredibly cheap, $100 a month, and 'Chores'.

Cook and Clean: Yes. I was in the army for 3 years, and if you can't clean you never see town. As for cooking, I'm a very fine 'camp cook'. That is, simple, fresh, nutritious/healthy, and sometimes fancy with candles and little music, and some romance. I like a little romance at the end of the day, at nightfall, a dusk or early evening. When you get older, you no doubt will too. It's as important as good nutrition. And by romance, I don't mean sex. I mean conversation, memories, expectations, enjoying another person's company, whose company you enjoy. Then is everything romantic? It can be, but you have to be a poet to see everything that way.

Unattractive: Yes. Life is temporary. Then why not a live-in situation?

Assumptions: Yes. I hoped that the person would be wonderful, and I was right. I went this maverick named Finy. As to identity, I had a hunch that the woman was feeling a little risque in advertising for what she said she wanted, but something didn't fit. It was a though the person was doing it for the very first time, and holding back.

Told anyone: Of course. I certainly wouldn't have lied. As Mark Twain said, 'When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.'

Comments: I wished it were true. I've put a bid in for an apartment rental on the upper west side, and I'm in limbo while they dither. To have had a place to move into in July would have been a great relief, and then I could go about scouting other places to live. And I don't get to meet this lovely, bold and daring Finy!

Good luck, and keep in touch. "The Actor"

There's so much I want to say about that one that I don't even know where to start!! I'll leave my comments for another post.

Labels: the experiment

posted by FINY @ Saturday, January 01, 2005 1 comments

NYC Response 3 - The Alias

From: "The Alias"
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 17, 2005 3:54 PM
Subject: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy
Hi there, I was just flipping through craigslist looking for an apartmentwhen I saw your ad. I am a 22 year old college student looking for anapartment. My name is Sam and I have enclosed a picture of myself. I amfairly reasonably good looking and you can contact me at "Alias@blah.com"

The picture he included freaked me out a little. It was from a weird angle and he looked SO serious. This was as close to a "naked" picture as I got. He was shirtless.

Ok, now the GREAT thing about this email, as you will see in a moment, is that his name is actually not Sam. He emailed me from his real email address though, so his actual name appeared in the From line. At first I just thought he was emailing from a friends computer or something, but then why did he not just check his actual email from that computer and just email me from there?

I found out when he responded to my "this is a hoax" email.

From: "The Alias"
To: finy apartment
Date: Jun 22, 2005 10:49 AM
Subject: Re: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy
Hello. I fibbed myself also however, my name is actually "The Alias" as you may have probably told from my email address and no hot house is a Marketing company for London Fog and Homestead. I figured that it was a practical joke however, that is why I used a pseudonym. Sorry. I am actually apartment hunting though and go to Baruch College. I'll be a graduating senior in December and I would not mind at all to be in your article. So gimme whatcha got. Just kidding. You can email me back or give me a call at XXX XXX XXXX. See ya later Finy.

"See ya later"? Yeah I don’t think so. And I am SURE he knew it was a practical joke. Right :)
Unfortunately he never responded to my email with the questions.

Labels: the experiment

posted by FINY @ Saturday, January 01, 2005 0 comments

NYC Response 4 - The Fellow Jokester

From: The Fellow Jokester
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 17, 2005 4:46 PM
Subject: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy
Hi,
I am possibly interested in moving into your spare bedroom. I have lived in NYC for about a year, I'm 24, work in consulting, originally from the Midwest, and love the outdoors. I attached a picture of me with a friend for you and if you have any more questions feel free to ask away. Thanks and I’ll talk to you soon.
The Fellow Jokester

Attached to the email was a guy with his arm around a girl who looked like she wanted to run the hell away. And fast. But his email was harmless enough, so I sent him the hoax email. Here was his response:

From: The Fellow Jokester
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 22, 2005 2:04 PM
Subject: RE: $100 - $100 -- A Great Deal For The Right Guy
Finy,

So it appears as if we were both a bit deceiving, because to be honest I didn't really intend to ever go through with it...I was just so intrigued by the post that I had to respond just to see if it was for real. My roommate and I are looking for a new place and we just stumbled across it, and basically flipped a coin to decide who would inquire about it.

In all honesty though, about a year ago when I was first moving here I probably would have considered it because I didn't know anyone and I didn't have much money. If you'd like me to participate in your survey I'd be glad to (assuming I remain anonymous).

So I guess we're kind of even now ha ha, but good luck and let me know if you still want me to answer your questions. It will give me something to do at work!

The Fellow Jokester

Well, whether he was joking with his response or not I guess we'll never know. He never responded to my follow up email.

Labels: the experiment

posted by FINY @ Saturday, January 01, 2005 1 comments

NYC Response 5 - The Swedish Security Officer

From: The Swedish Security Officer
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 17, 2005 4:48 PM
Subject: Room in apartment wanted by Swedish Security Officer
Hello!
I saw your ad. at craigslist.com and I am very interested!
I am a 26 year old guy from Sweden who will start working as a Security Officer for the United Nations this August.
I will send you any information you need if you think I will be suitable to rent a room in your apartment.
Sending you a picture of myself from my mission as a UN Soldier in Liberia last year.
Take care!
Regards // The Swedish Security Officer

Wow. The pictures he included? This guy was HOT. Tan, buff and in uniform (or half of one in one of the pictures). Damn. I sent him the follow up email, hoping this was another "Rower" situation.

From: The Swedish Security Officer
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 22, 2005 3:03 PM
Subject: Re: Room in apartment wanted by Swedish Security Officer
Hello Finy!
Well, I kinda guessed that the ad was not seriously meant but it didnt hurt to try didn't it?
Sure I could answer some of your questions. :)
Interesting experiment I must say..
Well talk to you later! :)
//The Swedish Security Officer

I loved it when the guys were good natured about this. Here's the answers to the questions I sent him.

From: The Swedish Security Officer
To: finy0535@gmail.com
Date: Jun 23, 2005 6:03 PM
Subject: Re: Room in apartment wanted by Swedish Security Officer
Hello Finy!
I´ll answer your questions inside your email to make it easier for me.

>Name: The Swedish Security Officer
>Where do you currently live (neighborhood is fine ) : A small city in Sweden
>Do you live with roommates, parents, or on your own? : Temporarily at my mothers place.
>What about this arrangement appealed to you? : Cheap rent and an opportunity to get to know a proffessional attractive woman in New York. If I didnt like it I could always move so I felt there was nothing to loose.
>Can you actually cook and clean? : Of course.
>If the potential roommate had been unattractive would you have still
>agreed to the arrangement? : yes, as long as I could have my privacy when I wanted.
>Did you make any assumptions about the poster's identity? : I felt it had to be one of two choices, either what was said, an attractive woman OR what it in fact was, a fake.. But again, I had nothing to lose.
>If you had moved into the apartment do you think you would have told
>your friends/family about the arrangement? : Yes.
>Any other comments? : Where can I find an arrangement like this for
>real!?!? :)

Awww. He was sweet and not at all creepy, which was one of the biggest shocks I got from this little experiment. How many normal guys were responding!

Labels: the experiment

posted by FINY @ Saturday, January 01, 2005 1 comments

About Me

Name: FINY
Home: New York, New York, United States
About Me: Just a New England girl trying to make it in NYC. Email me at: soxfaninnyc [at] gmail [dot] com
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