Miles from Fenway: Life as Literature

If I read life half as well as I read novels, I would have seen the signs. And not the big ones, not the "he didn't show up when he said he would"s, not the "her friends came over to help her clean up the dead bugs in her apartment and he didn't even offer"s. The subtle ones. The ones that my literature professors used to be so proud of me for finding in the densest of narratives.

I'm a book nerd to end all book nerds. This can best be summed up in the book that I'm reading right now; How to Read Literature Like A Professor That's right, I'm reading literary criticism - for fun. Says so right there on the back of the book.

So as I am reading on the subway this morning, I realize that if my life HAD been a novel, I would have seen the ominous signs. The cockroaches being the most obvious. When you see one, more are coming. They're inescapable. Much like what is to follow. They were my foreshadowing.

If I had paid attention I would have realized that I had let The Twin become a John Willoughby to my Marianne, when wouldn't we all rather be Elinor?

If I had been reading my life, instead of living it, I wouldn't have been surprised by the outcome. And really, I am just dreaming when I compare it to the greats like Sense and Sensibility. At present my life is like a bad chick lit novel. Mid-twenties, single, living in New York in a small apartment that has bugs. With my cat. Working in a publishing related field. Recently spurned by a less than worthy lover.

But then again - no story is original, and wasn't Austen one of the original romance novelists?

So if we follow that logic, better things are to come. And soon, if I'm not mistaken.

Labels: dating

posted by FINY @ Wednesday, September 13, 2006

7 Comments:

At 9/14/2006, Anonymous said…

I love the ending. Keep on keepin' on!
At 9/14/2006, Itchy said…

It's much easier to see the hidden meanings and suble clues in others lives...as we are watching it from afar. But when you are entrenched in it, things get murky and less obvious. Don't beat yourself up.
At 9/14/2006, BklynSoxFan said…

You and I are part of a family called Red Sox Nation, FINY. Anytime you'd like to talk to me, please feel free to do so.
At 9/14/2006, Christine E. said…

Hang in there, FINY...

I know it feels like the pain will never stop..But it will..I promise...maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day you will realize that, for a few minutes, you didn't hurt...and then it'll will be longer and longer bewteen the pain...

This is HIS failure and inadequacy,NOT yours...

Be well...
At 9/14/2006, Christine E. said…

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 9/14/2006, Anonymous said…

Wait. You're reading a literary criticism book... for fun?!?!?

You are a freak.

Better things are a-comin'... you just wait and see.
At 9/14/2006, FINY said…

Amy: thanks hon, I'm trying.

TLJ: It's one of the things I love about NYC so much. You never know what's around the corner.

Itchy: That's the hardest part about this whole thing. I am totally beating myself up about it even though the rational part of me knows nothing I could have done could have made him love me. And I wouldn't want to MAKE someone love me anyway.

Q: thank you, seriously. I didn't really want to talk about it at the bar the other night - I just get so pissed, it doesn't get anyone anywhere. Thanks for all your help with Trivia by the way. i miss the days of being on your team :)

Christine: That's all the exact same stuff I would tell to someone in my situation. Why do we never listen to our own advice?

Mikey: yup, total freak, and proud of it :)