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    Tuesday, May 09, 2006
    The Job, The Breakup, The Weddings, The Sox
    Welcome back to the world of Finy, everyone. Yeah I know, it’s been about a month since I posted last, and previous to that I was inconsistent at best. But I’m back, never to be thwarted again. I forgot until yesterday how cathartic this can be, how much I missed writing every day. So I hope you will forgive me, dear readers, and give me a chance to win you back.

    The Job

    Well, it’s been about three months now. Still as happy as ever. In those three months I’ve put out one issue of a magazine, three issues of an electronic newsletter, written letters, PSAs, and am about to come out with my second magazine. I still think it’s crazy sometimes how much I am in charge of; the budgets, the print runs, the writers. But it’s a good crazy. It’s a daily challenge, and there’s very little I love more than a challenge. Plus, it’s still wonderful to know that I am working for a great cause. I know that I am helping, in a small way, to better the lives of others. I am no longer stealing textbook money from broke college students hands, working for little to no acknowledgement, and being an insignificant blip in the corporate America world. In an organization that employs only 16 people, who’s board almost outnumbers it’s staff, I can actually make a difference here. And hot damn if that doesn’t feel great.

    The Breakup

    I don’t actually want to talk about it too too much. I think it’s still too fresh. Well, actually, it is still too fresh. It’s been almost three weeks – but it still feels like an open wound. Basically what it came down to is that he didn’t love me. And I loved him. The end.

    I kind of wish he had been an ass about it. I wish I could be mad at him. But I know he cared about me, just not in the right way. He was honest and open with me about that, and in the end, he just didn’t know that he was ever going to get to the place that I was at. End of story.

    The worst part, though, was the timeline of events.

    Thursday, 10:30pm: The Twin leaves my apartment. I have made it through the conversation without crying in front of him. The door closes. I lose it. And then promptly call MM, Meegan, and my roommate Lee. I clearly can’t be alone right now.

    Thursday, 11pm Friends and roommates start arriving with beer, cookies, and ice cream in hand.

    Friday 1:30am Friends leave. I lose it again. Had been doing ok with people around, but once alone, am sobbing hysterically. Call Adam in LA since West Coast time, it’s not that late.

    Friday 2:30am Finally fall asleep through sheer mental and physical exhaustion.

    Friday 3:30am Wake up and shower.

    Friday 4:30am Get in waiting black car that takes me to La Guardia

    Friday 6am Flight leaves.

    Friday 11am Touch down in South Bend, IN. Commence with weekend long torture as I am here for my cousin’s BRIDAL SHOWER.

    Talk about a kick in the pants. I had had my heart broken not more than 12 hours pervious and for three days had to be happy, shiny, member of the bridal party. I didn’t succeed that well. Plus I was only working on an hour of sleep. Let’s just say I was in such a state that I actually smoked in front of my mother. THAT didn’t go over well, let me tell you.

    But it IS getting easier. Slowly. And thank God or what is about to come up would be completely unbearable.

    The Weddings

    That’s right everyone, welcome to wedding season!!! This Thursday I fly down to Florida be a bridesmaid in my best friend Adam’s wedding to my college roommate Kat. Next weekend is free, but the weekend after that is a wedding in RI of a friend of mine from high school. The VERY next weekend is a wedding here in NY for a guy I’ve known since I was 4. Then there’s another free weekend and then I am back in South Bend again for my cousin’s wedding in which I will be wearing a Vera Wang bridesmaid’s dress and walking down what is possibly the longest aisle of all time. This is the most expensive spring/summer of my life. Because before all of this came the bridal showers, the bachelorette parties the airfares, gifts. Aren’t I too young to have all of my friends getting married, or am I just thinking that because I just got dumped and don’t want anyone else to be happy?

    The Sox

    But when all else fails, turn to the old standby. Baseball. Tonight, I will be at Yankee Stadium watching the Red Sox play the Yankees. Yes, I just got dumped. Yeah, I have no money. Sure, I am completely exhausted, and yes, it is gray and rainy outside. But Sox/Yanks? Johnson/Beckett? Yeah, that would cheer any girl up.

    Labels: , , ,

    posted by FINY @ Tuesday, May 09, 2006  
    • At 5/09/2006, Anonymous Proud Mom said…

      I love you with all my heart and soul... now STOP smoking!

    • At 5/09/2006, Anonymous OCJ said…

      I'll be in New York next week, lets hang! You can bitch all you want to me, I love that stuff.

    • At 5/09/2006, Blogger Ari said…

      Hey glad you are back, we all missed you.

    • At 5/09/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      FINY -

      Nice to see you writing again. Great game for the sox tonight.

      Go Girl!

      Sox Fan in NC

    • At 5/09/2006, Anonymous Edmund Dantes said…

      Not only that but Wedding Season is causing you to miss the Wednesday game in my friend's seats. Tsk... tsk... tsk... ;-)

      At least you got a great game for tonight. It was great seeing you in the city on Thursday. I'll definitely try to make it down again later in the year.

      It's going to be hard for me though because just like you my friends are hitting the Wedding age too. God it gets expensive (and I, thankfully, don't have to buy bridesmaid's dress).

      Insert random relationship cliche of your choice here. :-D

    • At 5/10/2006, Blogger Esther said…

      Ah yes, wedding season. I had 5 the summer I graduated from college. A couple of years ago I think I had another 5 or 6. This year it's down to 3 (so far). It sucks when you're alone, and it's super expensive.

      And, since your mom already said it, I have to chime in: yes, please do quit smoking :-). Love ya!

    • At 5/10/2006, Anonymous The F'ing Doctor said…

      FINY, you should stop smoking!!! Just wait for my wedding fifteen floors up and a five minute elevator ride just to have a smoke. Thats one way to kick the habbit.

    • At 5/10/2006, Blogger kate.d. said…

      glad to see you posting again, finy. i agree completely with the wedding season frustration - my sisters wedding alone cost me 1000 bucks last year! i can't imagine doing 3 or 4 in one summer...guess it's a good thing i don't have too many friends :)

      take care of yourself, and keep writing! oh, and Go Sox :)

    • At 5/11/2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      Sox Fan in NC -

      Have a great weekend and enjoy the simple things! Go SOX!

    • At 5/12/2006, Blogger Jack Roy said…

      Wow, DavidDean is totally less than sympathetic. It's almost as if he didn't read your post.

      Again, my heart breaks for ya. And... if I were a grownup, I could probably continue in that vein without leaning back to gloat that the Sox are 3-1 against the Yankees so far this season.

    • At 5/12/2006, Blogger Meegan said…

      I am so sorry it's been so long since we've talked. I want you to know that I think about you every single day, and I'm still so sorry about the break-up. After Monday when my classes are over, I'm wide open and hope to see you. I know your schedule is crazy, so let me know! I LOVE YOU.

    • At 5/14/2006, Blogger Michael Leggett said…

      Don't Worry, FiNY-We're all there for you.

    • At 5/18/2006, Blogger Derek said…

      hang in there FINY!!! And welcome back!

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    Name: FINY
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    About Me: Just a New England girl trying to make it in NYC. Email me at: soxfaninnyc [at] gmail [dot] com
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