Miles from Fenway: Unloading Relationship Baggage

I am a pack rat. No question about it. And as I started my yearly clearing out of all the crap that I accumulate, I stumbled upon a box that I've always allowed myself to keep around. It was like a safety blanket that smothered me all at the same time.

It was a box that contained all the little trinkets, notes, and minutia from my last two serious relationships: The Ex, and Crazy Rebound Guy. The box was filled with the cards that had come with flowers, with a bag of "reasons I love you" from CRG, with a long piece of grass The Ex had fashioned into a ring while sitting on the Esplanade one day nearly six years ago. At the time all these stupid little things meant the world. And keeping them around reminded me that I had been loved, and that if it had happened before then of course it could happen again, right?

But tonight while looking through it all, while some of it brought good memories and fond recollections, I knew I didn't need or want it anymore. And truth be told, I'm not even sure that my change of heart had anything to do with The Twin, though I am sure my mother and friends will disagree. The Twin and I haven't exchanged those three little words, and my fear is keeping me from uttering them, but I know I will eventually. What I realized while I was looking through the box was that, while those things, those professions of love, meant so much at the time they were shared, once the love is gone, they're nothing more than pieces of paper cluttering up the space under my bed.

So tonight I uloaded my relationship baggage into the wastebasket. And hot damn it felt great.

Labels: dating

posted by FINY @ Tuesday, January 03, 2006

8 Comments:

At 1/04/2006, Ari said…

Thats awesome that you can do that. I try not to keep things around like that either, but as a guy its so much easier to do so.
At 1/04/2006, Esther said…

I'm so proud of you! I remember the "reasons why I love you" bag. That was a little creepy, though sweet, when it showed up.
At 1/04/2006, Itchy said…

Feels great doesn't it? So freeing. I burned mine! I went into my backyard and dropped each item in slowly and watched it burn. That was a great evening...
At 1/04/2006, FINY said…

Ari - it's so much easier to be male sometimes, huh? :)

esther - yeah the bag was a bit creepy, but then again, most of my relationship with CRG was creepy if you'll remember correctly. That's what I get for throwing myself into a serious relationship just three months after The Ex left. *Finy hits herself upside the head*

itchy - it really did feel absolutely fantastic. I was actually thinking about burning them, but with no working fireplace and no yard to go into, made it kind of impossible.
At 1/04/2006, Liz said…

so, this has NOTHING to do with what you posted, but. . . .

7 DAYS!!!!!!!
At 1/04/2006, Meegan said…

This is beautifully written. Great post.

Oh, and re: the Coney Island post, people are nuts.
At 1/04/2006, Anonymous said…

Good job FINY.

So those three words. Either our parallel relationship is starting to diverge or those words should be uttered soon by both of you. :-D
At 1/06/2006, sethro said…

*sigh* I have a box of similar items. I need to find a remote spot out in the middle of a field and bury those things.

Thanks for the poke in the ribs, Finy.