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    Tuesday, October 18, 2005
    Someone Slap the Cynicism Out of Me Please
    I’m serious, I need a good smack to the head.

    It’s no secret that my dating history has, let’s say, scarred me. Not in terms of becoming calloused and not opening myself up to people, but in the, I’m-always-assuming-the-worst kind of way.

    For example, The Twin really dislikes cats. Now, this was not, for a second, going to stop me from adopting one. He and I have only been dating for three months, it was only the other day that he actually acknowledged that he was my boyfriend, and there’s no way I would let a relationship that young have an influence on a decision this big. However, when I called him and told him on Sunday that I was now the proud owner of a kitten, his first reaction was a whining “Aw, why’d you have to go and do that?”.

    We talked for a while that night (Sunday), but I’ve heard hide nor hair of him since. Granted, it’s only Tuesday afternoon. But I got no email response to the pictures of the kitten, no phone call back when I left him a message inviting him over to join me and two of my friends at my place tonight for pizza and beer. Nothing.

    And it’s stupid, but I’m scared. The last guy I dated for a few months, assh0le, just disappeared. Yeah he called a month later acting like nothing had happened and that he’d just been really busy, but it was a BS line and he and I both knew it. To the point that when I called him out on it he didn’t even argue and I haven’t spoken to him since.

    Now the good, rational girl in me is reminding myself that you can’t blame current guys for past men’s shortcomings. But the emotional side can’t help it. And let me remind you, IT’S ONLY BEEN A DAY AND A HALF!!! I AM ACTING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. SOMEONE PLEASE SLAP ME OUT OF IT!

    UPDATE: Thanks for all the comments everyone. I did end up talking to him last night, very late, as he was on his way home from the studio. Apparently the last two nights have been killer and tonight is promising to be the same so we made plans for Thursday. So I overreacted. Still wish he had sent an email when he had gotten home last night or something, but then again how many times have I come home so late that all I wanted to do was pass out?

    And he did ask how Tessie was doing, even refering to her by name, which I took as a good sign though I am not sure why. He even gave me some tips on how to get her to stop climbing all over me while I try to get ready in the morning (granted they were from when he and his family were trying to train their two dogs, but hey I'll take all the advice I can get.) So it's looking like the whole kitten thing isn't an issue at all.

    I'm a crazy person, that's all.


    posted by FINY @ Tuesday, October 18, 2005  
    • At 10/18/2005, Blogger Ari said…

      Take a deep breathe and know that one way or the other its going to work out. Don't sweat it. You have a lot to offer someone and you shouldn't be worried about the two of you but yourself. It sounds selfish but its so true, if it happens great if not its just another experience. So just be you.

    • At 10/18/2005, Blogger Macca said…


      That was satisfying. Thank you.

    • At 10/18/2005, Blogger Craig said…

      Ok, if it's only been a day and a half: Breathe in. Exhale. Realize that while whining about the cat and then not responding for a day and a half is remarkably rude, it might have an explanation. If, however, this is a blow off, save all smacks to the head for him.

      Here's my take (not that you asked for it): He's being an idiot, though not necessarily intentionally. It's very hard to excuse a complete lack of response for a day and a half any other way. It's all about what type of idiot he is being. Is he the "Oh, I didn't realize I should respond" or "Has it been that long?" idiot or the "She's got a cat, so it's over" idiot. Hopefully, it's the first. Just remember that if it has a Y chromosome, it is an idiot. We don't mean to be. We just can't help it; it's what we do. :)

    • At 10/18/2005, Blogger FINY said…

      Ari: I know it's the truth and I always look BACK on relationships thinking that way, it's hard to do it while still IN the relationship though. And how to protect myself? If I build up walls won't that be just as detrimental?

      Macca: Glad we could both get a little satisfaction out of that.

      CK: If he blows me off because I adopted a kitten he wouldn't even be worth the effort of smacks to the head. It would still hurt though. But I REALLY don't think he's the kind of guy to do that, but then again ... who's to say I guess.

    • At 10/18/2005, Anonymous Darren said…


    • At 10/18/2005, Blogger Miss Browneyedgirlie said…

      If you need a smack, then whoever smacks you needs to smack me, too...because I'm just as cynical. Anyone who's read my posts lately know that...

    • At 10/18/2005, Blogger Jack Roy said…

      The $^#$% White Sox are going to the World Series and this is what you choose to get down about? I don't mean to suggest you should only write about one thing ever, but can't we sit shiv for a bit?

      I'm with CK. Guys are dumb. Ya never know what this means, so you might as well go home and play with your adorable kitty. (It's really cute, btw.)

    • At 10/19/2005, Blogger -- said…

      Oh, wow. That sucks. Guys can be such jerks. And blogs are for being neurotic (if ours is any example!!) anyway -- as long as you don't let the boys see how much you're overthinking things, you're fine. ;)

    • At 10/19/2005, Blogger Long Iron said…

      Well my take on things is that your old enough to vote, drink etc., (you know what etc. is right?). Was he like, expecting you to confer with him before deciding to get yourself a cat? As far as I know, he doesn't pay your bills, so he shouldn't make your decisions for you either. If he ends the relationship over a cat, then it's his loss.

    • At 10/19/2005, Blogger FINY said…

      girlie: I think it's inevitable. All single girls hit the cynical point eventually. Only so many guys can screw you (in a bad way, not a good one :) ) before you have to protect yourself.

      Jack Roy: so is this a bad time to admit that I am rooting for the White Sox? I'll write a post in a minute about why ...

      And playing with the kitten last night TOTALLY helped.

      Kristin: Oh, I definitely know enough not to show HIM how neurotic I'm being. With him I'm all light and breezy ;) Thank god we have places to vent!

      Long Iron: Yeah, I think I know what etc. means ;).

    • At 10/19/2005, Blogger Chief Slacker said…

      If ya wanna stop cutness from doing something and train her not to, buy a spray bottle. if she climbs on ya, spritz her. That or apparently a can of pennies works well. Shake them don't throw them ;)

    • At 10/19/2005, Blogger Esther said…

      I'm now back for a bit. I agree with what everyone has said here. It's all fine, and if he really doesn't like cats, it could have taken him a day or two to get used to the idea. And once he meets her, he might change his mind about her.

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    Name: FINY
    Home: New York, New York, United States
    About Me: Just a New England girl trying to make it in NYC. Email me at: soxfaninnyc [at] gmail [dot] com
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